Letting Go and Making Room for What’s Next
Unlocking Your Third Act: Embracing “Be” in the Be, Belong, Become Philosophy
If you’ve ever felt stuck in the daily grind—wake up, work, come home, Netflix, repeat—you’re not alone. Many people reach a point in their lives when they start wondering, “Is this it?” The good news is that it’s never too late to create a new chapter filled with intention, purpose and a little bit of courage.
A helpful framework for this transition is the “Be, Belong, Become” philosophy. Today, we’re focusing on the first phase: Be. Let’s break down what it means to “Be” and how embracing this concept can pave the way for a more fulfilling future.
Step One: Be—What Does It Even Mean?
So, what does it mean to “Be”? Simply put, it’s about creating space to pause, to notice, and to exist without the pressure to change things immediately. It’s not about doing—it’s about stepping back and noticing what’s happening in the present moment, both inside and out. Think of it like the calm before the storm, where the storm is the moment you decide to take charge of your life.
For many, being still can feel awkward or uncomfortable. The mind races, bringing up thoughts and feelings we might prefer to ignore. This process is like cleaning out a messy garage—one that’s been filled with old beliefs, doubts, and unprocessed emotions. When you finally decide to tackle it, things can look messier before they start to clear up.
The Messy Garage Metaphor: Why Being Can Be a Challenge
Imagine that your mind is a garage that’s been accumulating clutter for years. It’s filled with outdated beliefs, regrets, and self-doubts—things you’ve been meaning to deal with but haven’t gotten around to. Finally, you decide to take a weekend to clean it out, ready for a fresh start. But as you start pulling things out, it gets messy. Suddenly, it feels overwhelming, and it’s tempting to just push everything back inside and shut the door.
This is often what happens when we try to sit with our thoughts and emotions. We might encounter difficult feelings like grief, anger, or frustration. It’s natural to think, “Do I really want to deal with this?” But on the other side of that discomfort is clarity, and that clarity is worth it. The process of “Be” means facing the mess, not just shoving it back in.
The Fear of Letting Go and the Power of Possibility
One of the biggest challenges in the “Be” phase is letting go of the need for control. Many people believe that if they just work harder, try more, or push themselves to the limit, they’ll solve their problems. But sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is to stop trying to control everything.
What if, instead of pushing for control, we opened ourselves up to possibility? What if we allowed ourselves to believe that things could work out in ways we haven’t even considered yet? This is the essence of developing a “possibility mindset.” It can be scary to admit that we don’t have all the answers, but this openness is where transformation begins.
Beginner’s Mindset: The Secret Ingredient
A key part of embracing the “Be” phase is adopting a “beginner’s mindset,” which is often discussed in meditation and mindfulness practices. This mindset encourages approaching life with curiosity, much like a child might—asking questions like, “What if?” What if we don’t have to stay stuck in this job? What if there’s a new passion or direction waiting out there? It’s about allowing ourselves to not have all the answers and being okay with that.
Instead of feeling pressured to solve every problem immediately, we can allow ourselves to be open to whatever solutions might come our way. It’s like hitting pause on the constant drive for productivity and giving the universe a chance to offer some new ideas.
How to Get Started: Practical Tips for Embracing “Be”
Ready to dive into this “Be” phase but not sure where to start? Here are some practical ways to begin:
Create Space for Silence: Carve out a few minutes each day to sit quietly or go for a walk without any distractions. Let thoughts come and go without judgment. Think of it like shaking a snow globe and waiting for the flakes to settle. Even 5-10 minutes a day can make a difference. Research from Harvard Medical School shows that regular mindfulness practice can improve mood and reduce stress levels, helping you better connect with yourself.
Journal Without Judgment: Write down what’s cluttering your mind without trying to fix or solve it right away. Consider it an inventory of your emotional garage. Sometimes, just acknowledging what’s there can be a powerful first step. Try using prompts like, “What am I resisting right now?” or “What beliefs do I need to let go of?” This practice helps in recognizing thought patterns that may be holding you back. Dr. James Pennebaker’s research on expressive writing has shown that journaling can lead to improved mental clarity and emotional resilience.
Practice Gratitude for What You’ve Done Right: While clearing out the mental clutter, don’t forget to keep a big box of things you’re proud of. It’s easy to focus on what needs fixing, but recognizing past accomplishments can provide a sense of balance and encouragement. Keeping a gratitude journal, even noting down three things a day that you’re thankful for, can significantly boost well-being, as noted by studies from the University of California, Davis.
Try Breath-Focused Meditation: Simple breath-focused meditation can be a great way to ground yourself in the “Be” phase. Start by closing your eyes and taking deep breaths, counting to four as you inhale, and four as you exhale. Focus solely on your breath. This practice helps calm the mind and center your attention on the present moment. Studies by the American Psychological Association have highlighted how breath-based techniques can reduce anxiety and improve concentration.
Spend Time in Nature: Nature has a unique way of bringing us back to the present. Try walking in a nearby park, sitting by a lake, or even just tending to your garden. Studies from Stanford University show that spending time in natural environments can improve mood and cognitive function, making it easier to clear mental clutter and embrace a possibility mindset.
Visualize Your Ideal Day: Visualization is a powerful tool for getting in touch with your desires and clearing out mental cobwebs. Close your eyes and imagine what a perfect day would look like for you. Where would you be? What would you be doing? This exercise helps bring focus to what you truly value and want to create more of in your life. It’s a technique frequently used in positive psychology to boost optimism and goal-setting.
Trusting the Process—and Ourselves
Embracing the “Be” phase isn’t about expecting instant results; it’s about gradually building trust with yourself again. Life has a funny way of bringing us back to the same lessons until we learn them. But each time, the process gets a little easier, a little more familiar, like revisiting an old story but with fresh eyes.
This journey involves learning to recognize synchronicities—those little signs that the universe is working with you. These might show up as a timely message from a friend, a book recommendation that seems perfect, or even a peaceful moment when you feel more connected to yourself. Tuning into these experiences can make the “Be” phase feel more enriching.
Key Takeaways: The Path to a More Purposeful Third Act
Possibility mindset is a powerful tool. Letting go of needing all the answers right now can open up new opportunities.
A beginner’s mindset encourages curiosity. It allows us to explore new ideas and possibilities without the pressure of needing to know everything.
Our emotional garage may be cluttered, but it’s worth sorting through. Don’t be afraid of the mess—it’s part of finding a way forward.
The power to shape the next chapter lies within each of us. Reflecting on past accomplishments can help balance the challenges of growth and change.
Additional Resources for Diving Deeper
Books: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach offer deep dives into the power of presence and self-compassion, two core elements of the “Be” phase.
So, take a deep breath, roll up those sleeves, and get ready to dig into the good stuff. Whether it’s cleaning out a literal garage or clearing out mental clutter, remember that this journey is one of self-discovery. Each step brings us closer to the new possibilities that await, with a little more clarity and a lot more courage.
Annie & Katie