Don’t Force It! Learning to Trust the Process
Episode 17 of Third Act Unscripted
There’s something strange that happens in the space between what was and what’s next. You know you’re no longer in your old life, but you can’t quite see the new one yet. It’s the fog. And if you’re in your third act—or even sensing one is near—you know the fog well.
This week on Third Act Unscripted, we sat down to unpack what it means to make decisions when you don’t yet have clarity, and why letting go of what you thought life should look like is often the first (and hardest) step in moving forward.
We each shared a “third act moment”—one of those crystal-clear glimpses where we suddenly see ourselves changing. These are the moments that sneak up on us when we’re not trying too hard. The ones that whisper, “Hey, something’s different now. Did you notice?”
Spoiler alert: we did.
The Unexpected Teacher: Fog
Katie shared a story from her current travels in Spain—an adventure that’s teaching her how to move differently, slower, and with more trust. She had planned a day trip to a beautiful mountain village called Mijas Pueblo. But when she got there, everything was hidden in thick, heavy fog. The panoramic views? Gone. The plan? Out the window.
At first, it felt like a disappointment. She had made the effort. She showed up. But standing there, unable to see more than a few feet in front of her, something shifted.
The fog became the teacher.
She started to tune into the smells around her—sacred sage from local rituals, wildflowers, even the quiet. She noticed the birds. The peaceful absence of crowds. The feeling of simply being.
And then, almost magically, the fog lifted.
Behind it were rolling green hills, tiny white homes dotting the mountainside, and the Mediterranean sparkling in the distance. All of it had been there the whole time—she just couldn’t see it yet.
That moment became a metaphor for how we’re learning to move through our own transitions: with less force and more presence.
The Realization That Cracked Something Open
Meanwhile, Annie had an aha moment of her own. It started with a comment someone left on our TikTok—one of those honest, heartfelt shares from a listener who said they felt stuck. They knew they were leaving behind their second act. They knew they were headed somewhere new. But they were in that murky middle, unsure how to move forward.
That comment sparked something in Annie. As she reflected on her own time spent in that in-between place—seven years of it, to be exact—she asked herself a big question: Why was I stuck for so long?
And the answer came in an instant, like lightning. So fast and so clear it made her burst into tears.
She was stuck because she was unknowingly trying to recreate what she had lost.
That one insight opened everything.
When you’re focused on recreating the past, you’re not living in the present. You can’t see what you have—or what’s possible—because all your energy is going toward something that’s gone.
It was the moment she realized she had to let go—not just mentally, but emotionally, energetically, and fully.
Why We Stay Stuck
We think a lot of people get stuck for this same reason. When you’ve worked hard to build a life, a family, a career, an identity… letting go can feel impossible. It can feel like failure. It can feel unsafe.
But staying focused on what you’ve lost—or trying to rebuild it exactly as it was—isn’t forward movement. It’s a loop. It’s what keeps you in fog long after it’s ready to lift.
We weren’t aware we were doing it either. That’s the thing. Sometimes we cling to what we know simply because it’s familiar—not because it’s right for where we are now.
It’s only when we begin to ask deeper questions (Why do I want this? Is this mine, or something I was told to want?) that we create the space for truth to come through.
Making Decisions Without Forcing It
So how do you make decisions when you’re in the fog?
That’s the question we circled back to at the end of this episode. The truth is, we don’t think there’s one clear formula. But we’re learning to listen in a new way.
In the second act, decisions were often about speed, certainty, and pleasing others. Now, it’s about pacing, resonance, and alignment with our inner truth.
We’ve started asking questions like:
Is this true for me?
Am I acting out of inspiration—or pressure?
Am I trying to force clarity, or can I sit with the unknown a little longer?
We’re also practicing what we call “non-attachment to ideas.” That means allowing inspiration to arise, but not running full speed ahead with the first spark. We let it sit. We test it. And sometimes, we let it go—without shame or overthinking.
Because when something is really right, it keeps knocking. And when it’s not, we usually lose interest quickly. Either way, that’s valuable information.
Embracing Third Act Energy
This season of life comes with its own wisdom—and its own challenges. We don’t have the same urgency to prove ourselves, but we still want to live with meaning. We’ve learned how to get things done, but now we’re learning how to be with things too.
The third act invites us to slow down—not because we’re losing momentum, but because we’re choosing what matters. We’re refining. We’re letting go of the performance and leaning into the truth.
And guess what? That truth doesn’t always come in bright neon signs. Sometimes it shows up in fog. In quiet. In the moment we stop pushing and simply look around.
That’s when we realize: the view is already here. We just needed to stop trying so hard to
Resources
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Key Takeaways
The fog is part of the process. You may not see what’s ahead, but that doesn’t mean there’s nothing there. Sometimes clarity comes after stillness.
Trying to recreate the past keeps you stuck. Progress starts when you release the old story and begin to imagine what could be.
Presence brings power. When you slow down and ask honest questions, you make space for more aligned decisions.
Trust your own rhythm. There’s no “right” speed for a third act. What’s right is what resonates.
Not every idea is meant to be pursued. Give inspiration space to breathe before you act. The right ones will stay with you.
If you’re in a season of change, we’re right here with you—fog and all.
With love,
Annie & Katie
Third Act Unscripted