Big Changes Require Community: Why Going It Alone Doesn’t Work in the Third Act
There’s a truth that often goes unspoken when it comes to major life transitions: we think we’re supposed to figure it all out by ourselves. Somewhere along the way, many of us were led to believe that once we reach a certain age or level of success, we should know what we’re doing. But here’s what we’ve discovered, and what this episode of Third Act Unscripted explores: you can’t do the third act alone—and you’re not meant to.
Whether you’re navigating a retirement, empty nest, career pivot, or the quiet nudge that something in life needs to shift, these kinds of big changes require something more than just determination. They require people. Real people. Supportive people. A trusted community. In this episode, we dive deep into how collective energy, shared purpose, and mutual support become vital fuel for transformation in midlife and beyond.
The “Next Day” and the Power of Showing Up
The inspiration for this episode started with a spark from Melinda French Gates’ new book, The Next Day. When Katie attended an event where Gates was interviewed by Reese Witherspoon, one core message from Gates landed deeply: it’s not just about making a change—it’s about having someone there to meet you on the other side of that change.
You might take the brave leap into something new, but if no one is there to witness it, cheer you on, or walk beside you as you step into your “next day,” the temptation to retreat into the familiar is strong. It’s like crossing a threshold and finding yourself alone. It’s disorienting, deflating, and honestly, a little scary.
But when someone is waiting—someone who says, “Welcome! You made it!”—everything changes. You gain momentum. You feel seen. You keep going.
Why Do We Try to Do It Alone?
We’ve both been there—trying to forge a path forward in isolation, assuming that our struggles were unique or a sign that we’d somehow failed. The truth is, many of us were taught that the only “normal” time to flounder is early in life: in college, during a first job, or while raising young kids. By midlife, the story goes, we’re supposed to have it all figured out.
But that’s a myth. The reality is that this third act of life often brings more profound transformation than any earlier chapter. Yet the support systems we relied on before—teachers, mentors, peer groups—have often faded away. Instead of being nurtured, guided, and cheered on, we’re left feeling like we shouldn’t need help. And that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Rebuilding the Village
So what’s the answer? We need to rebuild the village. We need to reclaim the value of intentional community, especially one centered around growth, reinvention, and possibility.
Think about it: when we were younger, there were built-in systems for connection and transformation—school, college, first jobs, moms’ groups, professional networks. We had people to turn to, ask for advice, share dreams, and navigate messiness. Those spaces were normal and expected.
But now? We need to consciously create or join new versions of those communities. And that doesn’t just mean social clubs or casual coffee dates—though those are great. We’re talking about structured, intentional groups designed to foster clarity, momentum, and mutual support through this stage of life.
The Mastermind Approach
That’s why we created our own version of a mastermind—a powerful concept that traces back to Napoleon Hill’s classic work, Think and Grow Rich. The idea is simple but transformative: when two or more people come together with a shared intention to grow, learn, or create, the collective energy becomes greater than the sum of its parts. A new, more potent kind of wisdom emerges.
In our own mastermind journey, we’ve seen how having even just a few trusted people reflect your goals back to you can be catalytic. It helps you hear your own voice more clearly. It gives your dreams traction. And perhaps most importantly, it offers encouragement when your own belief wavers.
When we affirm each other’s goals out loud, we anchor them in reality. We’ve watched countless times as someone in the group shares a dream—starting a business, moving abroad, slowing down their life—and someone else replies, “Yes, I can see that for you. I believe in that for you.” That affirmation is not fluff. It’s rocket fuel.
More Than Just Talking: The Structure of Support
Let’s be real—most of us don’t need another Zoom happy hour. What we do need is a space that combines heartfelt connection with purposeful action. That’s why the structure of a mastermind is so effective. It’s not just about chatting; it’s about declaring what you want, being witnessed, and then receiving intentional, reflective feedback.
It’s also about reciprocity. When you show up for someone else’s process, you gain just as much as when they show up for yours. You might hear a reflection intended for someone else and realize—“Wait, that’s exactly what I needed to hear.” The group becomes a mirror, a brainstorming hub, and a sacred container for transformation.
You Don’t Have to Build It Alone (But You Can)
If the idea of starting a group feels daunting, don’t worry—you’re not alone there either. You can join ours, or find another that resonates with you. What matters is that you’re no longer doing this work in isolation.
Our Party Pods are our answer to the call for connection. They’re small-group mastermind experiences designed for women in their third act. Each week, a new group of three participants comes together to support one another through intentional reflection, visioning, and encouragement. It’s like a college cohort—but for your second adulthood.
There’s enough structure to keep you focused, enough freedom to be authentic, and enough variety to spark fresh energy every time. And because we rotate the groups, you’re constantly being exposed to new perspectives, ideas, and opportunities to connect.
The Truth Council
We love how Melinda French Gates described her support system as a “truth council.” It’s the space where she could show up fully, express what she was going through, and receive honest, loving feedback. That’s the kind of support everyone needs during transformation—not just surface-level validation, but deep witnessing and encouragement.
Your truth council might be friends, mentors, a mastermind group, or even a mix of all three. The key is that they see you—not just your resume or your past roles—but who you are becoming.
Real-Life Inspiration
One of the most beautiful parts of this journey is realizing that inspiration is everywhere. It might be in the woman who’s refinishing furniture as her new post-retirement passion. Or in the person who quit everything to travel for a few months just to remember who they are. Or in the person sitting next to you in a mastermind who voices a dream you didn’t even realize you had.
These moments are reminders that reinvention doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s—and it doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be real.
Let’s Normalize Needing Each Other
We want to end this with a heartfelt plea: let’s normalize needing each other. Let’s normalize being new, being uncertain, being in transition at any age. Let’s normalize asking for help, sharing dreams out loud, and letting others reflect back our blind spots and brilliance.
The third act isn’t the time to pretend we’ve got it all figured out. It’s the time to gather, learn, dream, and build—together.
Resources
Book Mentioned: The Next Day by Melinda French Gates
Listen to the Episode 21: Big Changes Require Community on Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts!
Key Takeaways
Big life transitions require community. Going it alone can lead to isolation and stalled growth.
A mastermind or truth council can offer the support, reflection, and momentum needed to move forward.
Structured, intentional gatherings (like Party Pods) create a powerful space for clarity and transformation.
We need to normalize asking for help and surrounding ourselves with people who cheer us on.
You don’t need to have it all figured out—you just need to take the next step, with others by your side.
-Annie & Katie